A Coffee Date with Jennifer LoveGrove

Author of THE TINDER SONNETS

Paint a picture of your favourite coffee shop for writing. What makes it perfect to you? Is it the corner table, the barista who knows your name, the way the light hits at 2:00 PM?

Quiet but not too quiet. Comfortable but not too familiar. Instrumental music. I can’t write when music with lyrics is playing. A table where I can see the room, my back to the wall. A place that isn’t too busy, so I don’t feel pressured to give up my spot. A comfortable chair, a big table to myself so I can spread out. Interesting eclectic décor, lighting that isn’t too bright, but enough for writing. Decent coffee, but I’m not a coffee snob.

You’re at the counter. The barista knows your order by heart. What are you getting? Be oddly specific.

If it’s morning, a soy milk latte. I need my protein. If it’s afternoon, an Americano. If it’s after 3pm, a mint tea (no caffeine after 3, insomnia is heartless).

You're sitting across from me now, coffee (or other beverage) in hand. Tell me a bit about yourself and your latest book.

My new book is The Tinder Sonnets. It’s my fourth collection of poetry and is a collection of sonnet triptychs about contemporary dating and relationships. The book explores female sexual desire, current heterosexual dynamics, exposes the harms of misogyny and male entitlement and critiques these patriarchal systems. Weaving myth and folklore from the natural world rich in metaphor with lived experience as a middle-aged woman refusing invisibility, these poems celebrate empowerment and lust, and give voice to profound disillusionment and rage under patriarchy. The poems are all in sonnet form, rich in sonic texture, with fragments of conversations and messages woven throughout sensory imagery.

I also write prose sometimes, in the form of novels and personal essays. Besides writing, I make collages, am a novice drummer, love music, and hang out with my sweet, blind dog Edgar.

You notice I'm scribbling your social media handles and website on receipt paper (old barista habit). What should I write down so readers can find you?

Instagram @jenlg52
I’m also on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.lovegrove.505/

I'm that friend who always asks 'what should I read next?' What are your top three current reads that you'd practically force into my hands, and why is each one consuming your thoughts?

I just finished Karen Russell’s latest, The Antidote, and I loved it. Yes, it’s technically historical fiction, which isn’t a genre I seek out, but she makes it weird. And a little queer. And gorgeous. It’s a tremendous novel. There are also similarities to the novel I’ve been working on, but for once that doesn’t feel like a deterrent; more like reassurance. She used rotating points of view and moved around in time, with each chapter being narrated by a different character, which I’m trying to do too. And she has a plotline around a home for unwed mothers, again like my work in progress. Instead of intimidating me, this beautiful novel has inspired me to keep going.

Before that, I read the epic Romanian novel Solenoid by Mircea Cӑrtӑrescu, which is a wild ride. It’s introspective and brooding and stream of consciousness, first person with a very distinct and not altogether likeable voice. He ramble, but it works. And things do happen—very, very weird things. I loved this novel too; it’s quite unlike anything I’ve read in long time. Its weirdness opened possibilities—it didn’t adhere to any kind of predictability or expectation. Another book I recommend, though it’s very, very long.

I’ve also been re-reading the Bernadette Mayer sonnets, which I came to just after I began writing the poems that later became The Tinder Sonnets. I feel like she would appreciate what I’m doing (link: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49729/sonnet-you-jerk-you-didnt-call-me-up). Her sonnets are personal and chatty and beautiful and unconventional, and were published in the 1960s. She too wrote about sex and relationships in her sonnets, and maybe if she were still with us, she’d be writing about dating apps too. I’m pretty sure of it, actually.

The coffee shop WIFI just went down, so we're stuck here talking. Tell me the weird, unexpected, or completely ridiculous path that led you to become a writer.

I wanted to be a writer ever since I can remember, and I’m stubborn, so here we are. I grew up in a very small town, way before internet, and I was basically raised in a religious cult. So library books were both my escapism and my rebellion. Kids who read that much, compulsively, have a higher likelihood of becoming writers, in my estimation.

I’m timing you with my phone’s stopwatch. You have exactly 50 words to describe your writing ritual or process. Go!

I don’t have a ritual. I need one. My process is fragmented. My first drafts are messy and their purpose is discovery. What has energy, intensity and something expected? Then much intense revising. A long break. More rewriting. Like most writers, I need quiet, caffeine, and large blocks of time.

The person at the next table is eavesdropping on us. Let's make them regret it. What's the weirdest research rabbit hole you've fallen down that would make them raise an eyebrow?

Part of organ and tissue donation includes your bones, and it’s a very visceral and time-sensitive procedure. I did a lot of research around the bone retrieval process, what the bone material is used for, and what happens to the donor bodies after a femur or humerus is removed. I even toured a pathology lab during working hours. I saw specimens of kidney, intestine, all sorts of things.

As we're leaving, you turn back and say something that will stick with me forever about writing, creativity, or life. What is it (no pressure)?

I’m going to plagiarize a line my friend Pam recently said to me (as someone once told it to her): There are fewer rules than you think. This applies to creativity for sure, but also to life in general. There are fewer rules than you think. Liberating.

Get The Tinder Sonnets here.